


The Vigilantes' Boyfriend Support Group

by phonecallfromgod



Category: Daredevil (TV), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Evil Plans, Kidnapping, M/M, unlikely friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phonecallfromgod/pseuds/phonecallfromgod
Summary: The worst part of it was, Foggy’d been having a perfectly pleasant day before he’d woken up blindfolded and tied to a chair.Or Foggy makes an unlikely friend in an unlikely place and they bond over some very specific shared life experience.





	The Vigilantes' Boyfriend Support Group

**Author's Note:**

> There is now an INCREDIBLE podfic version of this fic by the insanely talented AlannaLioness you will find linked to this fic. Go give it a listen and send her some love!

The worst part of it was, Foggy’d been having a perfectly pleasant day before he’d woken up blindfolded and tied to a chair. 

Karen - with her fancy new journalist connections - had just snagged them a promising new client, one who looked like they might actually be able to pay, Matt hadn’t been stabbed, shot, or otherwise maimed in almost two weeks so Foggy’s stress level was way down, and the nice lady who ran the little Italian place they’d gotten lunch takeout from had added cannolis to their order just because she thought Foggy, “seemed like such a nice young man”.

It takes him a second when he comes back to consciousness to realize what’s happened, confused by the lack of visual information and also probably whatever he had been drugged with by the person who had grabbed him. But he doesn’t need Matt’s freaky ninja senses to put it together. He’s blindfolded - wrists and ankles bound to an uncomfortable wooden chair. He shifts his weight but the chair doesn’t move, probably bolted to the floor. 

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Foggy says to no one. “Okay, think, what would Matt do?” 

“Who’s Matt?” Someone says to the right of him. 

Foggy swears loudly, his heart jumping out of his chest, and honestly it’s probably good this chair is bolted to the ground because he’d lurched hard enough to tip himself over. 

“Sorry, sorry,” the mystery person says beside him, a male-sounding voice. And young, but young like a teenager not young like a little kid. “Did they blindfold you too?” 

“Yeah,” Foggy says, his stomach filling with dread. Maybe it’s stupid, given that the people who snatched him are already gonna be pretty bad given their readiness to kidnap _anyone_ , but something about snatching him alongside a kid throws Foggy into a new level of panic. Seriously, who the fuck does that?

“Is this your first time being kidnapped?” The kid says conversationally beside him, like they’re making small talk on a bus and not _tied to chairs after being drugged and kidnapped_. 

Maybe it’s some sort of denial coping mechanism, Foggy thinks. This poor kid is probably scared out of his mind. Hell, Foggy is scared out of his mind and he’s the one dating a scary vigilante who is probably on his way to bust him out right now with some ninja flips. 

“You there?” The kid asks.

“Uh, yeah,” Foggy says, trying to keep his voice even. “Sorry, I was just thinking. No, I’ve never been kidnapped before.” 

Something clangs above them and Foggy’s breath catches in his throat. He tries to focus on his other senses like Matt does - it’s a bit cold and the air is damp, sort of echo-y. Maybe a basement? Or a warehouse? 

“Don’t worry,” the kid says. “It’ll all be fine. I’m Ned by the way.” 

“Foggy,” Foggy says. “I’d, uh, shake your hand, but…” 

The kid, Ned, laughs. “Yeah, I get it.” 

Something clangs above them again and Foggy turns his head upwards on reflex. He’s trying not to let his imagination run away from him, but the people that Matt gets into scrapes with are seriously dangerous. And it’s not outside the realm of possibility that they might be trying to shake some information out of him, especially since they’ve clearly put together his connection to Matt, or rather Daredevil. 

“Are you okay?” Ned says. “I can hear you breathing kind of hard, do you have asthma?” 

“I-I’m fine,” Foggy says. Shit, he needs to hold it together better. If he starts spiralling that’s just going to freak out this poor kid more. “I just, shouldn’t we try and make a plan of escape?” 

Not that Foggy _has_ any sort of plan of escape, but he figures they should at least try. 

“Oh,” Ned says. “I mean, I wasn’t really going to bother. Usually he gets here in less than an hour anyways.” 

“Who gets here?”

“Spider-Man,” Ned says, like this should be obvious. 

“Uh,” Foggy says. “Has….has Spider-Man rescued you from being kidnapped before?” 

Ned laughs. “Spider-Man is the _only_ reason I’m ever kidnapped,” he says, and then after a long pause in a voice that’s an odd mix of sheepish and proud, “We’re dating.” 

“No fucking shit,” Foggy says, and hey being kidnapped is already weird enough that it may as well be alongside Spider-Man’s boyfriend. 

Only, holy shit, how _young_ is Spider-Man? The moment he gets out of this warehouse Matt is getting a _very_ stern lecture about involving children in vigilantism. Foggy knows for a fact that Matt’s been tag-teaming with Spider-Man on some costumed weirdo whose latest exploits have been overlapping into Hell’s Kitchen. 

Oh wait. 

“Well, I know who kidnapped us,” Foggy says, and in a way, it’s good to know - fear of the unknown is maybe not the _worst_ part about being tied to a chair and held against your will, but it’s definitely high on the list. But on the other hand, “I think we’ve been kidnapped by Frogman,” is not a sentence Foggy ever wanted to have to consider, much less speak out loud to another person. 

Ned groans loudly. “He’s the _worst_ , he’s not even a cool villain. Like maybe, _maybe_ if he had some cool powers or weapons he could get away with the terrible name, but-” 

“No I know, it’s the worst name _ever_ , Ma- Daredevil was telling me about it and he’s so serious about it and I was just like, I cannot take you seriously when you’re fighting a dude named _Frogman_ I’m sorry.” 

“Oh my god,” Ned says, voice high and excited. “Are you best friends with Daredevil? _Is his name Matt_!? This is the best kidnapping ever.” 

Well fuck. 

Foggy quickly considers his options. He could lie, he probably _should_ lie, but something about the absurdity of the whole situations makes him feel like maybe telling this kid isn’t such a big deal. Besides, what would Ned even tell other people, ‘I got kidnapped by Frogman because I’m dating Spider-Man and the dude I was held with told me he knows Daredevil’? Fat chance. 

“Mr. Foggy, sir?” Ned says, hesitant. “If you’re friends with Daredevil but you can’t tell me. that’s okay. I totally understand.” 

Foggy sighs. In for a penny in for a pound, he supposes. “Nah, it’s fine. And we’re dating actually.” 

Ned makes a loud high-pitched gleeful noise, and Foggy can’t help but laugh. It’s nice being able to find another person with the same obscure life experience. Especially when it’s not one you can go around telling other people about. 

“Dude, I gotta ask,” Ned says, voice frantic with excitement. “Is his voice really like that or is he doing a sort of Christian Bale as Batman type thing?” 

Foggy snorts. “Well, I don’t think he’d appreciate it being put that way, but yeah it’s not that gruff normally.” 

“ _Cool_ ,” Ned says, and Foggy can see the metaphorical heart eyes even through the blindfold. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Foggy says. 

“Yeah, shoot.” 

“Can Spider-Man like, talk to spiders? Do they recognize him as one of them?” 

“I _wiiiiish_ ,” Ned says. “Oh man, that’d be so cool. He doesn’t even spit venom or anything. Though, if he did I guess that might make kissing dangerous?” 

Foggy hums thoughtfully. Honestly, besides the whole web-slinging and wall-climbing he doesn’t really know that much about Spider-Man other than how many emojis he likes to use in the texts he sends to Matt. Emojis which Foggy is usually delegated to reading out loud, the voice to text feature on Matt’s burner phone not sophisticated to recognize them as anything other than ‘emoticon’. 

“Sooo, how many times have you been kidnapped?” Foggy says, the ‘you seem way too chill about this’ left unsaid. 

“Including right now? Six times,” Ned says nonchalantly. “Wait, no, I forgot one. Seven, seven times.” 

“Jesus.” 

“It’s not that bad, honestly. I’ve only ever really had one time where I was in any sort of danger and even that was just some genetically modified sharks. And thankfully we’ve just been left alone as hostages. It’s way worse when you’ve got some villain monologuing at you about their brilliant plan and how they’re going to destroy everything you hold dear and blah blah blah blah blah,” Ned says. 

Foggy can’t help but assume that the kinds of bad guys Spider-Man is tangling with are an inherently different breed than the mob bosses and corrupt cops Matt finds himself dealing with on a more and more frequent basis. Not that Foggy’s complaining, he has no desire to be dangled over a tank of genetically altered sharks by someone in a clearance-sale Halloween costume, but it’s just not something he can particularly relate to. And he really hopes it’s not something he’s _ever_ going to be able to relate to. 

“So, uh, what do you usually do while you wait to get rescued?” Foggy asks. 

“Hmm, depends. If they tied me up kind of bad I might try and get out, like zip ties are really easy to break, but they used rope and that’s a lot harder,” Ned says. “I’ve started frequenting a lot of escape artist forums, they have really good tips. I’ve been trying to get my one wrist out for a while, you can do certain flexing things to help get loose, but they knew what they were doing when they tied these.” 

“God, who’d have ever thought _The Frogman_ would be shockingly competent at kidnapping,” Foggy says. “Okay, so chances of escape low. How long does it usually take your web-slinging sweetheart to show up?” 

“Maybe an hour? Oh, he has an exam though, so he might be a bit longer.” 

“Kidnapped boyfriend doesn’t trump an exam?” 

Ned laughs. “Not since kidnapping number three. Besides, saving your boyfriend from terror doesn’t count as an excusable reason to miss an exam. What’s the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen’s excuse?” 

Foggy pauses, trying to remember what Matt had on his schedule today. He’d been heading to the county clerk’s office for something paperwork related when Foggy had run out to get lunch for himself and Karen, but he couldn’t remember if he was going to come back to the office right after or if he had a meeting. Though Foggy supposes that Karen would likely have called Matt when he didn’t return with delicious Italian food in a timely manner. 

“I think he has an appointment,” Foggy settles on, nice and vague. 

“Oh no,” Ned says, sounding anxious. “Crap! I just remembered, I have an orthodontist appointment at 3:30. I swear if he’s not here by then-” 

“I’m sure one of them will be here before then, I mean how many vigilantes does it take to rescue two people from Frogman?” Foggy says. He wonders if he should try and make his heart beat louder, in case Matt is already on his way looking for him. Maybe even kicking some henchpeople in the kidneys right now, and wow, is it messed up that Foggy thinks that’s kind of romantic? 

“That sounds like a logic puzzle,” Ned says. “If two vigilantes’ boyfriends have been kidnapped and said vigilantes are both busy, how long will it take the boyfriends to be rescued?” 

“Not soon enough,” Foggy says, trying not to focus on how hard these chairs are and how itchy the rope is against his wrists. “What do you normally do to pass the time, kid?” 

“Do you know how to play categories?” Ned says and Foggy laughs. 

“Oh, dude, I am the _king_ of categories, you wanna play alphabet style?” 

“Non-alphabet is for amateurs,” Ned says, and then after a long pause, “You can’t see this, but I am giving you finger guns right now.” 

Foggy lets him pick for first round just to be nice, but they only get through a few before they give up, unable to come up with a condiment that starts with Y that doesn’t feel like a cheat. 

“So what’s it like dating Daredevil?” Ned asks, clearly having barely contained asking up to this point. 

“As in, what is it like to date Daredevil or what is it like to date someone who is also Daredevil?” 

“I dunno, both I guess.” 

Foggy considers this for a long moment. It’s funny, because he complains to Karen all the time about stuff Matt does, like throwing out Foggy’s shampoo when he doesn’t like the smell or the fact that he can’t even say ‘oh my god’ anymore without Matt making a sarcastic comment about taking the Lord’s name in vain. But he’s never really put into words all the weirdness that comes with dating Daredevil. 

Karen had adjusted to Matt’s vigilantism surprisingly well, but Foggy knew she was happiest when she got to stay out of the nitty gritty. And he feels like after everything he owes her that much, so he tries not to complain to her too often about Daredevil stuff. 

Foggy knows on some level that maybe it’s a little bit inappropriate to be spilling his relationship woes to a teenager, but hey, inappropriate times call for inappropriate measures, and when is the next time he’ll ever get the chance to speak this freely about it?

Foggy takes a long deep breath. “I’mma be real with you buddy, I cannot stand his costume. And like, okay, even I can admit that at nighttime it does look kind of cool and badass. The horns are...too much, in my humble opinion, but whatever I can live with them. But during the day?” Ned snorts, building into bursts of laughter as Foggy continues, “God, He looks like, he looks like he’s fresh off the BDSM scene, just parkouring around in bondage gear.” 

Ned’s still laughing, drifting off and then building up again to full snorting laughter, “Man, you’ve wanted to say that to someone for a long time, haven’t you?” 

“It’s true!” Foggy says, his one hand flopping uselessly against the arm of the chair, his expressive hand gesturing only contained by literal restraints. “That’s the real reason he doesn’t fight a lot of crime during the day, he just looks like a dumbass. Okay, now I’m just being a jerk, you complain about your boyfriend so I feel nicer.” 

“Spider-Man is afraid of spiders.” 

“Holy shit?!” Foggy exclaims.

“Well, okay,” Ned says in a rush. “I can’t actually prove this one because he’s really sneaky about it. But if there’s a spider he’ll make me kill it and say he can’t do it because it’s like killing his brethren.” 

“See, I would have thought he’d want you to put it in a cup and take it outside or something,” Foggy says. 

“You would think,” Ned says, and then laughs, amused before he even says. “Also he sticks to things when he’s tired. Or nervous. I mean he sticks to things always, that’s how he can climb walls and stuff, but when he’s tired he’ll just stick to stuff on reflex, the floor or his phone. Or me. It’s not really annoying, it’s just very alarming sometimes. The first time we ever held hands he was so nervous we were stuck together for a few hours.” 

“Adorable,” Foggy says, letting out a long hum as he thinks.“Okay, this isn’t a Daredevil thing and I can’t tell you the specifics because-” 

“-Secret identity, don’t worry, I get it,” Ned says. 

One never expects to meet a kindred spirit while being kidnapped, but it’s nice to know friends can be made even in the most unlikely of places.

“His name is alliterative,” he continues, “like first name, middle name, last name. All the same first letter, all two syllables. And you know this isn’t the sort of thing that comes up all the time but I just think, like, if we get married I’m going to have to stand up in front of all our friends and family and say his ridiculous name with a straight face. I just. I can’t do it.” 

Ned laughs again. “Anything else you wanna get off your chest while we’re on the topic?” 

“I’m glad he has other superhero friends now, especially because I think it keeps him safer, but I fucking. Hate. Iron. Fist.” Foggy says. “God, what a _douche bag_. If he rolled in here to save me right now I’d just be like, no thanks I’ll wait for someone nicer.” 

The words are barely out of his mouth before there’s the clanging boom of a metal door being kicked in. And Foggy really fucking hopes it’s not Danny Rand. 

“ _Foggy!_ ” Matt calls in his gravelly Daredevil voice, and yeah Ned wasn’t kidding, he does sort of sound like Christian Bale as Batman.

And then Matt’s hands are on his wrists. “Hold still,” he says, and then he’s slicing the ropes around his wrists, and kneeling down to do his ankles. And even though he’d just seconds ago been having a fine time shooting the breeze with Ned, something about Matt being here and literally untying him from a chair makes the panic he’d managed to settle jump into high gear again. 

Matt pulls the blindfold off, Foggy squinting in the mid-afternoon light even in the dark of the room, which does seem to be some sort of basement after all. Matt’s hands come up to cup Foggy’s face and even though he’s in his fucking ridiculous Daredevil costume and the whole thing is absurd, Foggy feels his throat tighten and his eyes start watering completely of their own volition. 

“You’re okay,” Matt says, in his normal voice and pulls him into his arms. Foggy holds him back tight even though one of those stupid horns is digging into his neck but he just stays there for a long few moments, letting his heart rate come back down, Matt stroking his shoulder blade. 

“Hi, uh, sorry to ruin your moment, guys, but is someone going to untie me or…?” Ned says and Foggy glances over to where the poor kid is still tied to a chair. 

Matt pulls away, moving out of his crouch and Foggy looks up at him. “Did you lose Spider-Man?” 

“He was right behind me on the way over,” Matt says, with a shrug. “We had to come from Hell’s Kitchen, Frogman planted about a dozen fake decoy bombs in the neighbourhood.” 

Which is actually pretty fucked up, but even after all the kidnapping Foggy is still having a very hard time taking any of it seriously when it’s at the hands of _Frogman_. 

“Where are we, anyways?” Foggy asks.

“Chelsea,” Matt says. 

Foggy clicks his tongue. “Wow, you really went like a whole four blocks out of Hell’s Kitchen to rescue me, that’s so romantic.” 

There’s a loud bang somewhere above them and Foggy looks over Matt’s shoulder expectantly at the doorway as Spider-Man appears a second later. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late, there was a little kid who got separated from her school group so I helped her find them,” he says in a breathless rush, more to Matt than anyone else, and yeah holy crap, how did Foggy never notice Spider-Man was so _young_ before? 

“Knife?” He says, and Matt chucks it to him at a speed that makes Foggy cringe, but he catches it no problem. 

He bounds over to Ned whose mouth is set in an unhappy line. “I better not have missed my orthodontist appointment.” 

“Nooo,” Spider-Man says. “C’mon, say the thing, please? You haven’t been blindfolded since the first time.” 

Ned sighs, and pitches his voice dramatically. “Who’re you?” 

“Someone who loves you,” he says, and pulls Ned’s blindfold off. 

“Very cute,” Ned says. “Please untie me.” 

Spider-Man cuts him out of his bounds and tosses the pocket knife back to Matt who catches it one handed, his other hand still resting comfortably on Foggy’s arm. 

Ned stands and rubs his wrists. “You know, in the movie Han and Leia kiss.” 

“Ned, I’m wearing a _mask_ ,” Spider-Man says. 

“Daredevil has a half mask so he can kiss _his_ boyfriend.” 

Foggy clears his throat. “Well, yeah, but we didn’t.” 

“Yeah but you _could_ have,” Ned says, and Spider-Man sighs and dutifully rolls up his mask to his nose, leaning over to peck Ned on the mouth before pulling it down again. 

“Happy?” Ned tilts his head. “Depends, did I miss my orthodontist appointment?” 

“ _Wellllllllll_ ,” Spider-Man says. 

“What? No, c’mon,” Ned says with a huff. “The receptionist is so mean when you miss an appointment and have to reschedule.” 

“I was saving the city! I’m sorry!”

“I’m making you call her,” Ned says and crosses his arms and Foggy can’t see Spider-Man’s face but he somehow just _knows_ he’s pouting. 

Matt’s mouth quirks judgmentally at this exchange, which is basically the Matt Murdock equivalent of an eye roll, Foggy has learned. 

“He’s been kidnapped like seven times, cut him some slack,” Foggy says under his breath. “Also you’re the one who’s running around with a _teenage vigilante_ ,what the hell did you expect?” 

Matt shrugs, and helps Foggy to his feet, his knees creaking angrily as he stands. “You know, kidnapping us seems like a lot of effort since he just left us alone in a basement in Chelsea.” 

“ _Well_ -” Spider-Man starts. “Technically, he left you alone in a basement with a bomb above you.” He must see the horrified look on Foggy’s face because he quickly backtracks. “No, no it was totally fine we took down his whole system remotely you weren’t in any danger since, like, an hour ago while we tracked all the other non-bombs down.” 

“Oh, well thank _god_ we were only here with an active bomb for, like, two of the three hours we’ve been here,” Foggy says, and god he really needs a stiff drink or five before he can start even thinking too deeply about that one. 

“Hey, at least it wasn’t sharks,” Ned offers sympathetically. 

“Yeah, Foggy, look on the bright side, at least it wasn’t sharks,” Matt says in his stupid Daredevil voice and Foggy doesn’t know if he wants to smack him or smooch him. 

“Babe, we should go,” Spider-Man says, pulling on the sleeve of Ned’s hoodie. 

Foggy steps forwards. “Ned, it was an honour to be kidnapped alongside you, man, I hope our paths will cross again in a less shitty situation.” He extends his hand and Ned takes it, his grip surprisingly strong. 

“Yeah, you too, man. I hope your wedding goes well,” Ned says, and then Spider-Man’s practically picking him up bridal style and web-slinging back up the stairwell. 

“Wait, that’s not what I meant!” Foggy calls after him, but they’re already gone. He turns back to Matt, who has a little amused smirk on his face. 

“Wedding?” 

“A hypothetical future wedding. You’re hearing it out of context,” Foggy says. 

“No I’m not, I followed the dulcet tones of your complaining all the way here,” Matt says, cocking his head. “You really think it looks like bondage gear?” 

“Yes, you look like a dumbass,” Foggy says with a huff but he doesn’t complain as Matt reels him in close and kisses him soundly. (And if Foggy uses it to his advantage to pull off that stupid cowl then really, who can blame him?) 

“You know,” Matt says, when they come up for air. “If you hate my name so much, I could always take your last name. Break up the alliteration a little bit.” 

“What? Well obviously. Obviously you’re taking my last name, that’s a given. But that doesn’t solve the problem. I still have to get up there and say I take you, Matthew Michael Murdock, to be my lawfully wedded husband, which I just dread the whole idea of.” 

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?” 

Foggy huffs. “Can we just go home please? Put your stupid cowl back on.” 

He takes a second to double check he has everything on his person that he’d been kidnapped with. Say what you want about Frogman, but at least he hadn’t taken Foggy’s wallet, and he was due for a phone upgrade anyways so that was no big loss. Really, the only real casualty in this whole ordeal had been the Italian takeout. 

“So, Spider-Man’s boyfriend seems nice,” Matt says, conversationally, as if they are not exiting a basement of horrors. “That’s good, our spider friend is very enamored with him. He spent the entire time talking about him and I’d hate for him to turn out to be a jerk.” 

“That’s shockingly protective from the dude who’s enabling a literal minor in his vigilantism,” Foggy says. “I mean, I know he seems to mostly be dealing with the weirdos, but I see the guys you deal with, what if someone of those lot start coming after him? Or, god, what if something happens to _Ned_? We cannot let that happen.” His palms are practically sweating at the idea alone. 

“Foggy, the reason he deals with the mostly harmless weirdos is because we leave them for him,” Matt says at the top of the stairs. “He’s got a lot of talent, a lot of ability, he’s smart, if we just leave him alone completely or tell him to stay out of danger he’ll just end up in more trouble. So we let him deal with the weirdos. He’s good at it, too. I don’t think you have to worry.” 

“Well you’ve...actually put a lot of thought into that,” Foggy says. They’ve made their way to the main floor of the building, which looks like some sort of failed residential development. 

“I mean, he’s got Stark and all his crew watching out for him,” Matt says, “But hey, never hurts to have some more eyes and ears closer to home.” 

“You’re so hot when you’re being all responsible,” Foggy says. “Okay, go parkour over some rooftops and put some normal clothes on, I can’t stand this any longer.” 

Matt makes a little annoyed noise, but he’s already up the makeshift stairwell and gone before Foggy has to push the issue again. He shakes his head and exits the front door like a normal person and starts off in the direction of the office. Matt steps out of an alleyway dressed in blessedly normal clothes only a few blocks away, hand coming up into the crook of Foggy’s elbow, even though they both know he doesn’t need to. 

“So,” Foggy says, “I’ve been thinking we should have Ned and Spider-Man over for dinner sometime.” 

“What?” Matt says. “No, that’s a terrible idea. We already know too much about each other's identities.” 

“Ahhh c’mon, Matty, when are we ever doing to meet another normal person/vigilante couple?” 

“Jessica and Trish.” 

“Okay, well, when am I gonna meet another chubby best friend turned boyfriend of a vigilante? That’s very niche. We could be, like, our own little support group,” Foggy says. “Oh, also, I did accidentally tell him your name was Matt. Kinda. Like, I didn’t confirm it but, I mean Spider-Man probably knows by now. And because of that Ned knows all your initials start with M. _Plus_ , uh, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but not a ton of Foggy’s out there.” 

Matt exhales heavily through his nose. “Fine. But we’re not doing it at either of our places, I don’t need a 17 year old who can scale walls with my home address.” 

“Deal,” Foggy says. “Actually, that’s perfect, there’s this great little Italian place that I didn’t get to try because I was drugged and kidnapped by someone who willingly calls himself Frogman.” 

Matt’s hand tenses on Foggy’s arm, “I truly am very sorry.” 

“Eh, don’t worry. I’ll forgive you after a very stiff drink and a few cannolis. Text the kid, I’m starving.” 

“You want to have dinner with Spider-Man _tonight_?” Matt asks. 

“Why? Do you have other plans?” 

“We’re going out with Danny Rand,” Matt deadpans, but he cracks up too soon and ruins it. 

Foggy rolls his eyes. “I know you don’t like him either, you just can’t say it because you’re too diplomatic.” 

“Look, if it makes you happy, seeing as you were just kidnapped and all, we can have dinner with the kids,” Matt says. “Here, I’ll message him right now,” and he pulls out his burner phone which has a full slide-out keyboard.

“You would have been the coolest girl in school in 2007 with that thing,” Foggy says but Matt just ignores him, fingers flying over the tiny keys. 

They’re almost back to the office by the time Spider-Man texts back, Matt’s phone dutifully trying but failing to get across his message. 

“Can you-?” Matt says, holding out his phone for Foggy. 

He laughs when he sees what Spider-Man’s sent Matt. “He says, red heart, two guys holding hands, devil face, plate of spaghetti, spider emoji, two guys holding hands and another red heart.” 

Matt tilts his head. “Okay, and what is that actually supposed to mean?” 

Foggy laughs. “I think it means the first meeting of the Vigilantes’ Boyfriend Support Group is officially a go.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always a huge thanks to Meg nobodytoldthehorse and Rachel evol_love for their beta/cheerleading skills. Also lots of love and gratitude to Ami softsunlesbian for helping me get the details right and for generally enabling me in the best way possible. Find me on tumblr where I'm also phonecallfromgod.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Vigilantes' Boyfriend Support Group](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907156) by [AlannaLioness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlannaLioness/pseuds/AlannaLioness)




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